5 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling At My Kids
Being a mother is a really rewarding task. However, sometimes the stress of day to day does not allow us to remember the wonderful work that we have at hand. Thus, at the end of the day, it is possible that on several occasions you have found yourself reproaching yourself: today I yelled again at my children.
And it is that sometimes we ourselves are the ones who become excessively demanding. We want perfect children of those who do not raise their voices or dirty their clothes. Discreet children, with perfectly tidy rooms and excellent grades. But the reality is that these children only exist in magazines.
So when I relaxed and stopped yelling at my children, I learned great lessons that I want to share with everyone today. Well, finally, motherhood is to enjoy it.
Lessons I learned when I stopped yelling at my kids
The perfect is an enemy of the good
I learned that I don’t need to be a perfect mother, compete, or prove anything to anyone. I understood that my children prefer me less correct and planned and more spontaneous and happy.
Maybe folding the laundry tomorrow or doing the dishes at another time makes me a more humane and relaxed mom. That makes me a better mom. Maybe my house is not on the cover of a magazine, but their smile is and it is because I have stopped yelling at them.
I don’t have perfect children, I don’t want them perfect either
My children are perfectly imperfect. Juice spills on them, they don’t like to bathe, they quarrel to tidy up the room, they don’t like vegetables and they always want a new toy… But how could they be different? They are children!
I love them as they are, like a whirlwind of laughter and kisses. Sometimes reckless because they are spontaneous, sometimes grumpy because they have their own point of view of things, sometimes capricious because they just want to be happy.
I am the mother that my children need
Even before they came into my life, I already had ideas of how I wanted to raise my children. I planned what I was going to do in each situation because I didn’t want to be an impromptu mom.
I imagined how I was going to teach her to pray and also table manners. I told myself that I would never give them junk food and that I would teach them to be brave, independent and generous. Anyway, I made plans with people I didn’t know, what a mistake!
Then I realized that I must be the mom each of them needs, not the one I planned to be. At times firm, warm for others, sometimes protective and other times motivating. Because each child needs me differently, because each one of them is different.
The looks of others are superfluous
I have very good friends with whom I can honestly share the difficulties that I encounter while raising my children, I listen to hers as well. We laugh and worry together, we look for alternatives or we make calls to each other.
But I have also learned that there are too many looks and words, those of insincere people who fake perfection just to appear. Those looks, those tips today are worth nothing to me.
I learned to outdo myself, I was able to stop yelling at my kids
My children have taught me to go the extra mile in those moments that I already looked exhausted. They have taught me to surpass myself, to be a better human being, to forgive myself with unwavering faith in the next opportunity.
Today I am truly a better version of myself. Maybe my body and my dark circles say otherwise, not to mention my nails! I’m not saying I don’t miss seeing myself as before, it would surely be great, but I don’t change for anything having become what I am.
Every day I wake up with the desire to be a mother at his height. With the unstoppable force to be able to educate them as each one needs, controlling my impulses and my ego.
Really, not every night I go to bed satisfied. Some yes and a lot, but others feel like I’m going to bed owing them a better day, some hugs and maybe a lot of patience. Those days, more than any other, I go to bed with the total conviction that tomorrow I will have a new opportunity not to yell at my children.
