Don’t Be Afraid To Say “no” To Your Children If What They Want Is Not What They Need

Sometimes it is necessary to say no to your children; especially when they want to do an activity that does not suit them, and that means that parents must measure when their child wants to do a dangerous activity or that is harmful in some way and decide whether or not to give in to their whims.

Learning to say no in a timely manner can prevent your children from many bad experiences. Learning to say that it does not require a balanced attitude, which will help you not to fall into a tyrannical attitude but rather invites you to practice a healthy authority, as well as effective and promote family happiness.

Learning to say no to your children -especially when what they want is not what they need- will help you to dose your authority, with the purpose of correcting some behavior and preventing any difficulties you may have when educating them and instilling fundamental values. . Over time you will discover that, although it sounds contradictory, on many occasions, when a father says no to his son, he is helping him feel happier.

This is so, because a child who has clear and well-defined limits lives much happier than, for example, a child who tries to convince his parents by manipulating them; Well, although sometimes it is incredible, sometimes children can be much more emotionally skilled than adults and they know perfectly how they should behave to emotionally alter their parents and finally get what they want so much, which can be avoided by learning to say not.

Learn to say no and to leave the fear

To leave behind the fear of saying no to our children, you need to be clear that your only goal is to help them. Although in the short term it may not seem like it, always being clear about that will help you say no when you need it.

Knowing how to say no, with a good face, without feeling bad and with the necessary firmness, can be expensive, but it can be achieved. Doing so only requires patience and firmness. Certainly, many children feel frustrated, upset, and even angry when their mom and dad tell them not to do this or that; And it is a natural reaction, because we all get frustrated when they say no to something we want.

At first, he will cry because they won’t let him do what he wants. Some will even do everything to get what they want: they will yell, cry, throw things, pay and insult, but in those moments is when you must show your maturity so as not to let yourself be manipulated.

Just because of the uncomfortable circumstance that tantrums result, it is sometimes difficult for some parents to say no to their children – and maintain that no – when the child begins to behave inappropriately.

Also many parents feel cruel for letting the child cry and not giving in to their demands. However, if they give in, they are showing the child that if he cries and creates a scandal, his father or mother will end up giving him what he wants, and this is a mistake as common as it is serious.

Leave the fear of the child’s tantrums

When parents are assertive, letting go of the fear of saying no to their children, they show their children that emotional blackmail and bad behavior are not the best way to get things done. It is also necessary that as a mother or father you understand that if you teach them to get everything they want and immediately you are doing a disservice to the child, because when they become an adult they will see that things do not work that way, that it is necessary to make an effort to obtain them .

Therefore, being firm is another virtue that you must cultivate as a parent. You should not be afraid of confrontation with the child. Keep in mind that when the child cries or throws a tantrum, he is only testing how far he can go. Try to keep your emotions contained and balanced and show indifference to these behaviors, as this way the child will begin to calm down.

You have to  learn that staying calm is a golden rule when it comes to parenting.  Sometimes it is difficult, but it is a virtue that all parents should cultivate. It is very important that when you say no to the child, you do it firmly and confidently, but also calmly and calmly. You should not yell at him or show yourself upset.

Ideally, we prepare our children to be resilient people, capable of tolerating frustration and delaying gratification, so it is very important to learn to say no when necessary.

Think that many times that “no” makes your children grow. Practice will make you a teacher and little by little you will see what is the best way to handle situations and say no to your children when it comes to their good.