Tips For Coping With Joint Custody

Shared custody and parental authority are not the same, separated parents have to assume a rather complex role when they have decided to end their legal relationship. In this case the care of the child is the same for the father and the mother, under this regime communication between the parents is necessary because the child or children must live the same time with both.

The period that the child spends with each parent varies depending on the characteristics of each family, but they are ordered by a judge. Sometimes the days alternate and others may take longer timescales; If the exchange takes place in a row, the parents’ connection is just as fast, which requires a lot of tolerance and a good relationship to develop.

Custody is not only so that the child can share with father and mother equally even when they are separated; that is, it is not a vacation period that is assigned to each one. In these cases, the obligations and rights are the same for everyone, which is why it takes a lot of maturity and proper communication to carry out parenting separately but under the same rules.

How to take joint custody and not die trying?

Coping with a divorce is always complex, however, when there are children involved, the challenge is greater. Under these conditions, it is necessary to emphasize the importance of coexisting, as adult, thinking and responsible beings ; The main thing is always the well-being of the little ones, since they had nothing to do with their parents’ problem.

It is not impossible to run joint custody in peace, but it takes a willingness to adapt wisely to changes. We know that getting along with our ex-partner can be complicated, but it is the key so that the joint custody regime can be managed in harmony.

The main thing is to focus on the current situation, how it will be executed so that it can be convenient for everyone and how far we are able to bend for the love of our children. The past must be left behind, despite the damage caused by the breakdown or the difficulties of our marriage, the present requires courage to create the future we want for our children.

Sometimes it is not enough for a judge to order us to share custody of our children, this is not granted to the parents because in advance the good relationship of both has been highlighted. Some aspects are considered to judge on this aspect, for example, it seeks to avoid the greatest trauma to the child and it is essential that the parents live in the same locality;  getting along with each other is a difficult requirement to fulfill.

So, when starting this difficult stage, doubts are natural, but we all believe we can do it. As we know, family breakdown is inevitable and certain circumstances cannot be foreseen by law, so it is on our part to make this work as our children deserve it.

The following tips may be helpful in these cases.

• Generate agreements where mutual opinions are valued and respected
• Avoid further inconvenience to children, if we have to solve something, it is preferable not to do it in front of them
• Let us ensure that the discipline has the same characteristics, for this it is necessary to have the same point of view in most cases. It is not advisable to disavow the other party, or detract from it for no reason.
• Respect the decisions of the other parent, even when there is a punishment for something that happened during the custody of this
• Competition between the two is not precise, let’s try to create a neutral ground in which children feel that they are under the same guidelines. Let’s avoid pleasing them with gifts, trips or permits, just to win their sympathy to the detriment of the other
• Let us try to speak well of their absent father, let us identify his virtues and never try to discredit him in front of the children.