When The Child Wants To Sleep In The Parents’ Bed

What happens when the child wants to sleep in bed with the parents? The first thing that must be objectively reviewed is why, if the child is afraid or if he simply likes to sleep with others, as most people do. I think that to resolve this circumstance is a matter of time.

I will allow myself to speculate: Surely your son was already sleeping in his room alone and you had already recovered your privacy and also more space in the bed; but suddenly again your little one has returned and wants to sleep with the parents.

Okay! ¨ The first thing to do is evaluate the situation, ask your child why he wants to sleep with you again and try to solve the problem without pressure, give him time.

Give him logical reasons for him to demolish and face his fears, which he will overcome with your help. I think the best thing you can do is not pressure him, he is not committing any crime.

Time to time

Let’s see, according to Rosa Jove, author of several specialized books on attachment parenting and a psychologist, 87% of children in the world slept today in the company of their parents. There are even countries like Japan, Norway, Sweden … in which the rates exceed 90%, says the author.

Perhaps southern Europe, along with the United States and part of Canada are the areas where this practice is less widespread, explains La Jove, who says that even so, 54% of Americans and Europeans are supposed to sleep with their children. ; “What happens is that, as it is a taboo subject, nobody says it and we believe that nobody does.”

There are more scientific arguments from Jove: Humans are mammals and apart from drinking breast milk, they are characterized by living and sleeping together, in a herd.

“All children, one day or another, voluntarily separate themselves from the company of their parents and end up falling asleep at once. ” Be patient, with your support it will become independent.

Try not to force the change so that emotions do not play against you and you create the opposite effect of what you want.

It is important that the bedroom is a quiet and cozy place, where you can and want to rest at once all night. Keeping the room dark and at the right temperature (17-20ºC) greatly favors the sleep of the little ones.

Sleep alone

According to the author of La Crianza Feliz between 3 and 5 years of age, we would see how the fact of needing more hours of daytime activity, for example, due to entering school, reduces sleep (the naps) and there is only one night shift, of about ten or twelve hours.

In each period of our life the dream adapts to our needs. This makes the adult’s sleep different from that of a newborn and also that of an elderly person (who has almost no deep sleep and, instead, tends to have more periods of light sleep and the need to take small naps during the day) .

Sleep is an evolutionary process: we are born knowing how to sleep and we develop and adapt this activity according to age. “We want children to sleep like grown-ups, but we forget that to sleep like grown-ups, you have to be older!” He says.

Those explanations that are directed mainly to the hours of sleep, but also serve as recommendations to understand how we can carry the process of leaving the parents’ bed without trauma.

I insist on the need to find out why he has done it, because he wants to sleep in bed with his parents and gradually break down the barriers, if he has any. If your child is afraid and you cannot solve that problem, I find it necessary that you go to a specialist.