Being A Mother Or Friend Of My Child, Should I Choose?
Parenting for years has been linked to discipline and the unquestionable authority that mom and dad could exercise in the home. In the old days, children had to obey the most ridiculous orders without questioning and abide by the rules of the house. However, these patterns in modern families tend to change. A certain horizontality seems to be the norm when it comes to raising children.
Faced with these dilemmas and paradigm shifts, the mother wonders whether she should choose between being a mother or a friend of her child, believing – wrongly – that they are incompatible roles.
While it is important to establish rules and maintain healthy hierarchies in the home, especially when children are still of school age, remember that both mother and child are learning from each other. The relationship must be based on this premise and respect.
Should I be friends with my son?
Sometimes the mother will naturally assume more of the role of friend, accomplice or companion in the adventures or misadventures of her children. Without planning it and even looking for it, you will be lending your shoulder to comfort, your ear to listen or simply your presence to support without the need to reproach, advise or lecture.
Then yes. You can and should be friends with your children. This will help build trust and build a strong relationship for life. However, it must be a relationship with clarity, where each one respects the other person’s space and does not lose sight of the kinship that initially unites them.
The mother friend:
- Comfort your children without reproaching their poor decisions.
- They objectively suggest the outfit that looks good or not.
- They can make constructive criticisms of the children, they will not only see these perfect ones.
- They can have the same musical tastes and share moments of leisure such as an afternoon shopping, at the theater, concert or a hobby.
- Mother and children are friends on social networks.
- Maintains a relationship based on trust and transparency. Tell your children, without going into unnecessary detail, aspects of your life that show that it is not perfect.
- Encourage your children to live life responsibly, freely, and without emotional ties.
- They laugh together and can make fun, without hurting, of themselves and of the other.
- Establish confidant relationships with your children.
The mother in the traditional role:
- Teach to be good people
- Establish clear limits and rules when dealing with children
- Maintains a role of control, guidance, over the children
- Gives opinions in the form of advice that helps children make the most correct decisions
- It’s like the motherly version of Jiminy Cricket. Tell the children what is wrong with an action and remember the responsibilities that come with not taking responsibility for the actions
- Maintains constant supervision of the behavior and educational evolution of your child
- You are unconditional when your child requires it (illness, doubt, sadness)
Our advice is that you take the best of both roles and adapt it to your personality and the personality of your family. Children will always require a mentor and if they cannot find it at home, they will look to other people for this model. Sometimes they will also just want the parents to act as friends. That is to say, that they listen to them without judging them and give their honest opinion.
To nurture the relationship of friendship, love and respect with your child, make a habit as simple as worrying and showing interest in their affairs. Listen to him and treat him with respect, tact and complicity.
