Burnt Mother Syndrome
Burnt mother syndrome affects many moms at the time of child rearing. It is due to stress and fatigue that comes with the responsibility of caring for the baby.
It is characterized by a chronic depressive state of the mother that can lead, in the most serious cases, to very unpleasant situations. Therefore, it is a much more serious problem than a simple faintness or a temporary depression.
It is the result of a physiological, emotional and psychological exhaustion that results from the accumulation of stressful situations, characterized by a moderate intensity and a repetitive aspect.
Some of the most common consequences of Burn Mother Syndrome are sleep disturbances, weakness, chronic fatigue, digestive problems, and headaches and back pain.
Phases of burn mother syndrome
1.- Emotional exhaustion
Each person has a physical and psychological energy stamina. The mother’s daily responsibilities gradually use up all of her energy until the moment when she feels drained of her resources.
In this first phase, it may happen that a simple awakening generates a feeling of anguish for the mother, due to the infinity of tasks that she must carry out.
2.- Emotional detachment
To protect and care for the little one, the mother establishes a defense mechanism. You may continue to perform daily life tasks mechanically, but the contrast makes a total crossroads in emotional investment.
Consequently, the mother will feel distant with her son, with her husband and with her daily life.
3.- Reality
The last phase of burnout is probably the most worrisome. At this point, the mother becomes aware of the growing gap between her ideal of motherhood and reality as she perceives it.
Reality clashes with the idealized concept of being a perfect mother. In these cases, the mother may feel in a situation of personal failure that implies a loss of confidence and that can translate into aggressive behavior towards the child.
Main causes
Taking care of your child and the home is a real job that, at times, may not be valued. The reconciliation with work life can cause mothers not to have the time or energy to face all situations.
Sometimes this exhaustion is due to the need for perfection that some moms have and the fact of trying to impose an ideal parental scheme.
You must bear in mind that perfection does not exist. Do not try to be a perfect mother, since you need help and understanding in the face of the large number of tasks that you are in charge of.
The great disappointment
The reality of motherhood is totally different from the idealized fantasy, either because of the responsibilities or because of the difficulty of carrying out a correct organization.
You need to accept the disappointment of the ideal of being a mother and be able to see that reality is made up of good and bad moments.
Who can get burnout syndrome?
There is not really a typical profile that burn mother syndrome can have.
In fact, the syndrome can affect women of any social background, both those who have a baby for the first time and experienced mothers. In addition, it can occur at any time, both after the baby is born and months or years later.
There are some risk factors for maternal exhaustion, such as having twins or several children of close ages, since it implies a significant workload for the mother that can, in some cases, trigger maternal exhaustion.
Another case in which mothers may be more prone to suffer from the syndrome is single mothers, as they may lack support to raise their children.
How to improve?
The most important is that you accept that you are not a perfect mother. To do this, do not hesitate to talk about how you feel with those around you and even share the experience with other mothers.
If you consider that you need the help of a specialist, you can consult a psychologist.
