How To Achieve Happiness In The Reconstituted Family
When two people marry or join as a couple, they do so because there is love between them and they believe that it will last a lifetime, but this is not always the case. On many occasions, families break up for a myriad of reasons and, in the vast majority of times, these families have children who also suffer separation. Here begins the reconstituted family.
Divorce rates are higher each year and there are fewer and fewer marriages. If you and your partner have children from previous marriages, it is normal for both families to come together and live together as one. Reconstituted families face great challenges that a non-reconstituted family does not have to face.
New family roles in the reconstituted family
A reconstituted family will have new family roles, and there is a delicate balance between fostering new relationships and giving children and spouses the time to adjust. If you want to join two families, or if you have already moved together, it is necessary to consider some tips so that happiness can be achieved in this new family unit.
Build strong relationships
As a couple, you are the captains of the ship. As parents and heads of household, you are the ones who set the course for the family. Spend time with each other, as well as with your children. Communication to be effective must be open and respectful communication between all members.
Structuring the home of a reconstituted family
Create the division of labor in the home that best suits the individual needs of each. Maybe your partner knows how to cook very well and you know how to do the laundry so that everything always smells good. Your older children will find it rewarding to share their experience and take care of younger siblings, for example.
Decide on house rules together
Having rules at home is essential to balance coexistence and for happiness to flourish. Children need consistent rules. Reach agreements with the partner about what is considered acceptable behavior and the consequences that should exist when the rules are not followed. If children are also spending time in your ex’s home, these rules need to be coordinated as closely as possible.
Talk about money
Money is an important part of people’s lives because it is essential to prosper but, by merging two families, it can cause problems if it does not get along. It is important that you share with your partner the details about your income, your assets and your debts. Find common ground on how to spend, save, and invest. But keep the properties separate.
Respect differences
All people are different and the basis of a good coexistence and good interpersonal relationships is based on respect. There are many advantages to bringing more life experience to you as a parent and spouse. There is also the possibility that you may need to adjust or merge different traditions and habits regarding everything from vacations to curfews.
The good of your family always comes first
It is necessary that you keep your full attention on the welfare of your general family. Try to speak up and consider everyone’s needs and make reasonable adjustments so that everything runs smoothly.
How to act with children in a reconstituted family
It is important that you also have a plan with the children so that you adapt to each other and feel good at home as a complete home and not as a temporary home. To do this, keep the following tips in mind:
- Understand your role. As a stepfather or stepmother, take your new role in the family in stride. Remember that your stepchildren have their own parents. Be a positive role model for them to follow.
- Empathize. Try to see things from your stepchildren’s perspective. Validate their feelings and acknowledge them. Be sensitive to their concerns about how they feel in the family you have rebuilt.
- Enforce the house rules. Explain the house rules clearly from the beginning. It is best if your partner provides most of the discipline to their own children, especially in the early stages of the relationship.
- There will always be setbacks. Family relationships will fluctuate over time. You and your partner will likely learn by trial and error as you take on new challenges. L hildren may feel conflicting loyalties and need to step back sometimes.
- Supports the child’s relationship with his grandparents. If your stepchildren’s grandparents are still alive and committed in their life, protect yourself and don’t get in the way of that sacred relationship. Put the interests of the child first. Grandparents are a precious resource that can provide unmatched love and care.
